I love the thoughtfulness of some of the teenage Ukrainian Refugees. As we have fought through the language barrier and our made up sign language and the attempt to be clear through a translator… What I love are the important heart felt questions they ask. Im aware that most students from the U.S.A. may not be facing the same difficulties these kids and young adults are but they are both asking similar difficult questions.

When young people ask hard questions surrounding mental health, we might not know how to answer them all. Here are some examples of difficult questions I’ve been asked with some brief answers. Hopefully, the next time a young person asks us a similar thing, we’ll have a head-start on thinking of an answer.

HOW DO WE KNOW WHETHER WE’RE SAD OR DEPRESSED?

It’s not always easy to tell the difference between depression and sadness. Sadness can form part of a person’s depression but they’re not always the same thing. When we go through a sad period we might worry that we’re becoming depressed; this worrying can make us feel even worse.

Sadness often links to a specific trigger. It’s a normal emotion that every single one of us feels at some point. Depression is a medical condition, that affects our ability to live our lives in the way we want to. For a depression diagnosis, certain criteria have to be met. They include how we feel, how long we’ve been feeling that way, and how it’s impacting our life.

If we’re worried, there are always people we can talk to, and it’s much better to talk to someone about it than to keep worrying. Sometimes we worry that we don’t feel “bad enough” to reach out for help. We don’t have to reach a certain level of feelings before we’re allowed to talk to someone about it. Your feelings are always worthy of a conversation.

HOW DO WE KNOW WHETHER WE FEEL STRESSED OR HAVE ANXIETY?

It can be hard to distinguish anxiety from stress, shyness, nervousness, or feeling anxious – they often look a lot alike.

Stress, shyness, nervousness and feeling anxious are emotions that every single one of us will feel from time to time. They are often in response to, or as a result of, a specific trigger. In contrast, an anxiety diagnosis is a diagnosable medical condition that can be much longer-lasting and has a significant impact on all areas of our life. When we live with anxiety we will often feel anxious most of the time. We might not remember the last time we felt completely relaxed. The intensity of our anxiety can vary, but it’s usually still there bubbling away in the background.

Whether we’re nervous, stressed, shy, anxious or have been diagnosed with anxiety, talking to people about our feelings can be a big help. There isn’t a rule that we have to be “bad enough” before we’re allowed to discuss our feelings.

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

Nothing at all. Our feelings aren’t based on what we “deserve”. Bad feelings can affect us whether we’re four or 40, from Ukraine, Japan, the US have blonde hair or brown hair, or live in a house or a castle. We don’t always get bad feelings because we’ve done something bad. Difficult things don’t always happen because we’ve done something wrong. Sometimes stuff just happens, and there isn’t a reason for it.

WHY DOES NOBODY UNDERSTAND ME?

Feeling bad can be a very lonely thing. Sometimes it can feel like nobody understands and nobody has ever felt how we feel. But other people have felt, and do feel, how we feel; they might hide it, or only tell their closest friend abut it. We’re definitely not the only one to feel this way.

Sometimes it’s hard to help others understand us because we struggle to talk about how we feel or what we think. It might be easier to write it down, draw a picture, or use quotes to explain our feelings

HOW CAN I MAKE IT GO AWAY/STOP?

We can’t always control our thoughts and feelings, or force them to go away or stop, but we can do things that help us to feel better. There are lots of different things that we can try!

Self-care, talking to professionals, reaching out to friends or family members, going for a walk, building emotional skills, and sleeping and eating well can all help. If one idea doesn’t work, we try another, and we keep on trying until we find things that do work for us. But health conditions don’t get better without care. But they always improve with care.

WHEN WILL I FEEL BETTER? WHEN IS IT GOING TO GO AWAY?

Unfortunately, mental illness isn’t like having a cold or the flu. We can’t predict when we will feel better because everyone is different and different things help different people. Sometimes we have to try a few different ideas before we find something that helps us.

We will feel better at some point. Bad feelings don’t last forever. Life can be full of lots of different thoughts and feelings, and not all of them are nice. But however bad our feelings get, however horrible we feel, and however much they made us cry, they will always, always pass in time.

Waves get bigger and bigger before they come down. The sky can pour and pour rain for hours on end before the sun comes out. Our feelings can feel really horrible and bad and make us cry or want to hit our pillow, but eventually, they will pass, we will feel calmer, and life will feel a little brighter.

You got this! We got your back!

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