On September 24, 2023 my mother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. As the matriarch and a constant in my 48 years of life, I was not prepared for the immediate impact this would have on my life. As the founder of an organization that motivates and teaches others how to be resilient and emotionally and mentally healthy, even I felt blindsided by this sudden loss. Im not sure if there is a “right” way to grieve great loss but I am positive there are a lot of wrong ways to respond.

I have spent my life trying to leverage the pain and suffering I have experienced in life to help others in hopes that they will either not experience the same pain, respond in healthier ways or find a path to healing and hope.

I am two weeks since my mother died and wanted to sit down and write a short, not comprehensive list of emotionally healthy steps after losing a close loved one. Losing people we love is inevitable. But you can choose when you find your self in these challenging moments of life to respond in ways that are healthy and actually serve you in honoring the loss and grieving in a way that leads to healing. You can do this.

Losing a close loved one is an emotionally challenging and life-altering experience. It's a journey filled with complex emotions, but there are steps you can take to navigate this difficult time in an emotionally healthy way. Here are some essential considerations and responses to help you cope with the loss and honor your loved one's memory:

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve:

Grief is a natural and necessary process. Allow yourself to feel the pain, sadness, anger, and confusion that often accompany loss. Suppressing these emotions can hinder your healing. Give yourself permission to grieve at your own pace, understanding that it's a unique journey for each person.

2. Seek Support:

Don't face your grief alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can provide comfort and understanding. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others can help you feel less isolated and provide opportunities for healing conversations.

3. Create Rituals and Memorials:

Consider creating meaningful rituals or memorials to honor your loved one's memory. Lighting a candle, planting a tree, or organizing a memorial service can provide a sense of closure and a way to celebrate their life.

4. Take Care of Your Physical Health:

Grieving can take a toll on your physical well-being. Ensure you are eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough rest. Physical self-care is crucial for maintaining emotional balance during this challenging time.

5. Express Your Feelings:

Journaling, art, or talking to a therapist can be helpful outlets for expressing your emotions. Expressing your feelings can provide clarity and allow you to process your grief in a healthy way.

6. Create a Supportive Environment:

Surround yourself with people who understand your need for space and time to heal. Avoid individuals who may pressure you to "move on" or who dismiss your grief. A supportive environment is crucial for your emotional well-being.

7. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Compassion:

Mindfulness techniques and self-compassion can help you manage the overwhelming emotions that come with grief. Learn to be present in the moment, acknowledge your suffering without judgment, and treat yourself with kindness.

8. Seek Professional Help if Needed:

Grief can sometimes become overwhelming and impact your mental health. If you find it challenging to cope with daily life or experience prolonged periods of intense sadness, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.

9. Preserve Memories:

Collect photos, letters, or mementos that remind you of your loved one. These items can provide comfort and help you cherish the memories you shared.

10. Accept That Grief Is Ongoing:

Grief doesn't have a set timeline. Understand that it may continue to evolve over time. Be patient with yourself and allow space for healing to occur naturally.

11. Find Ways to Give Back:

Sometimes, helping others who are going through similar experiences can provide a sense of purpose and healing. Consider volunteering or supporting a cause that was meaningful to your loved one.

12. Celebrate Life:

In time, as you move through your grief, try to celebrate life and the positive memories you shared with your loved one. It's a beautiful way to honor their legacy and find joy amidst the pain.

Remember that healing from the loss of a close loved one is a unique journey for each individual. While these emotionally healthy steps can provide guidance, it's essential to honor your feelings and pace throughout the grieving process. Seek help and support when needed, and know that healing is possible, even in the midst of profound loss.