Self Care that doesn’t SUCK
I guess it’s good that self-care is back in the conversation. I might be biased since I am a mental health advocate and run a non-profit to help people in the day to day battle with their mental health, but I hear about self-care now more than I ever have before. Awesome, right? I mean, yeah but….I need to be honest when I tell you even now when I think about self-care it USUALLY comes from someone who sees themselves with influence (think boss, teacher, parent, social media influencer, whatever) and sometimes has an undertone of “I need you to not let your personal issues get in the way of your productivity.” Ugh, @#&%! am I right? And usually the self-care they offer is cliche or inaccessible: take a bath! do yoga! pet a dog! (I mean, if you can pet a dog do that) eat pizza on the couch! spend your money on fill in the blank! go shopping! drink a $9 green smoothie! #selfcare #blessed.
It makes my eyes roll so hard. There are two main issues I take when I hear this call to self-care:
IS taking a bath really going to help me navigate day to day barriers I face?
It takes some resources to engage in the social-media cute forms of self-care. It takes time. it takes money. It takes having a safe, perhaps private space. Not everyone has these resources—do they just not deserve self-care?
I want to offer self-care that is way more boring, way more meaningful, and actually doesn’t suck.
Sleep: Do I have an environment where I can sleep peacefully? Does my schedule allow me to sleep enough?
Food: We ALL need to eat stuff we enjoy that makes us feel good. I 1000% am not talking just veggies and green smoothies all day. I am talking about things that feed our bodies and souls, from all food groups, without worry. Go ahead and eat that cookie dough, but to be your best and feel your best cookie dough isn’t the fuel you will need to live up to your potential. Go back to elementary school and rehearse the food groups and a balanced diet. You don’t have to eat like a rabbit to feel good and be good but you do have to be intentional.
Maintaining our mental health: If we take medications that help us get through the day and help us feel better, taking these as recommended can be a non-negotiable element of self-care. For some people, going to therapy is an incredible form of self-care—a space to feel heard, accepted, AND to heal and pursue new ways of thinking that feel better? Incredible. I understand that access to this care is a true privilege for many. If you need support finding resources accessible to you, reach out to us we can help you find affordable and sometimes free resources in your area.
Movement: Another complex one for a lot of people. You don’t have to be a fitness model and you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else. There are more than enough scientific studies that prove the correlation between mental and physical health. It doesn’t mean you need to run to the gym and hire a personal trainer. But start where you are. That might be go for a 5 minute walk today, pat yourself on the back and try 6 minutes tomorrow!
Social Interactions: If we spend our time with people who enrich our lives, accept us and celebrate us as we are, and provide peaceful, meaningful interactions, we will feel better. Being seen and accepted is an absolutely critical piece of mental health and healing.
Self-talk: The way we speak to ourselves matters! The good news is that even if we beat ourselves up a lot now, we can work to be kinder to ourselves. How would you speak to someone you love? Do you speak to yourself the same way? You’re probably doing better than you think you are, and seeing yourself in a kinder light is an excellent form of self-care.
Play: Play does not end when our childhood ends! Doing things you enjoy just for the sake of enjoyment is super good for our brains and helps us connect with different parts of ourselves that need some attention.
Slowing down and prioritizing self-care can be in our reach. It’s not glamorous. It won’t make a hit TikTok or super cute Insta post, but it also may be more accessible and sustainable than getting a massage.