Every Man Needs a Battle
Five years ago, I woke up completely lost.
Newly divorced—after 25 years of marriage.
Newly unemployed—I was a pastor, and after my wife left, I “got resigned.”
And newly empty-nested.
My whole identity—husband, dad-at-home, leader—gone in what felt like a blink.
I was treading water.
White-knuckling my days.
Barely breathing.
There wasn’t a single area of my life that didn’t feel broken, empty, or disoriented. I didn’t know who I was, where I was going, or if I even wanted to keep going.
Then, in March of 2022, I saw something on the news.
Bombs falling. Buildings flattened. People—grandmas, babies—running for their lives in Ukraine. I sat there and thought: “Someone has to do something.”
And then this crazy idea hit me:
What if that someone was me?
So I bought a one-way ticket and flew into a war zone.
And what I didn’t expect was that in the middle of the most dangerous, chaotic place I’d ever been—my soul started to come back to life.
I didn’t find healing in a quiet retreat center.
I found it driving 100 miles an hour through a combat zone, dodging bullets and handing a bag of food to a terrified grandma who hadn’t eaten in three days.
That moment didn’t just wake me up.
It ignited something in me.
I had a reason to get up again. A cause. A fight. A purpose.
And I’m telling you, man to man:
You don’t have to go to a war zone to find your fight.
But you do need a battle.
The Science
Psychologists and neuroscientists agree:
When a man loses his sense of purpose, his mental and emotional health spiral.
Depression goes up.
Energy goes down.
Numbness, addiction, anxiety, apathy—all of it creeps in.
But when a man finds something bigger than himself to live for?
Something to fight for?
The brain comes alive again. Dopamine surges. Meaning returns. Resilience increases.
Even Viktor Frankl—survivor of the Holocaust—said:
“Those who have a why to live can bear almost any how.”
I’m not saying every man needs to carry a weapon or storm a battlefield.
But every man does need to feel like he was made for something.
If you’re waking up angry, anxious, or empty—not because life is hard, but because it feels pointless—you don’t need more distractions. You need a mission.
Find Your Fight
Look around. There’s no shortage of battles:
Fight for your marriage.
Fight for your mental health.
Fight for your kids who are growing up in a digital minefield.
Fight for that teenager in your neighborhood who’s thinking about ending it all.
Fight for the voiceless, the addicted, the hungry, the forgotten.
Pick a battle that costs you something.
Pick a fight that makes your blood move.
Pick a cause that matters, and give it your life.
You don’t have to have a perfect past to be useful.
You just have to stop standing on the sidelines.
If you’re feeling numb, lost, or like you’re just going through the motions—I get it.
I’ve been there.
And I can tell you: the answer isn’t found in numbing out.
It’s found in showing up. In stepping into the mess. In choosing to fight.
So what’s your battle?
What’s the thing worth bleeding for?
What’s your reason to stay alive?
Find it.
Then give it everything you’ve got.
If you don’t quit, you win.
