How to Talk to Your Teen About Mental Health

It's been a long two years. A hard two years, and many are burnt out. The pandemic has affected millions, including teens and young adults. Children from age 8 to 18 have felt (and continue to feel) the effects of COVID-19. And while many have been impacted by the virus, physically speaking, the pandemic is taking another toll. According to a 2021 U.S. Surgeon General's report, young people are facing a mental health crisis, one which will have "devastating" effects.

"Mental health challenges in children, adolescents, and young adults are real and widespread. Even before the pandemic, an alarming number of young people struggled with feelings of helplessness, depression, and thoughts of suicide—and rates have increased over the past decade," Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said in the report.

But what can we do? How can we support our children—and improve their mental well-being?

While discussing and prioritizing mental health is important, broaching the topic can be hard. Many teens do not want to talk about their thoughts—let alone their feelings—and this can make sensitive conversations tough. Scratch that: It can make them seem impossible. But having an open line of communication is essential.

It's important that parents talk openly and regularly about mental health with their teens and take a proactive stance, Here are a few ways to start the conversation.

Ask your child how they're doing, and what's happening in their world.

This can be as simple as asking, "Are you OK?"

Listen intently and without judgment.

While you may hear things that make you uncomfortable, you can (and should) offer judgment-free support. Because there is often stigma attached to mental health conditions, young people can feel ashamed to talk about their worries.

"Talk with them about what they are experiencing. Listen with curiosity and empathize with them."

Learn.

Try to understand where your child is coming from and what they may be going through. Educate yourself about the impact of bullying, isolation, stress, and grief and familiarize yourself with common mental health conditions, like anxiety and depression.

Acknowledge their frustrations, feelings, and fears. Do not minimize your child's emotions or life experiences. Remember, a little validation goes a long way.

Follow their cues.

Say things like, "Tell me more about that. I'd love to understand more about what that's like for you. When he said that/did that to you, how did that make you feel?" These statements let them know you are listening while placing the power in their hands.

Finally, remember that it's important to be patient.

If your child isn't ready to talk, leave the invitation open, Say something like 'Whenever you want to talk, I'm here to listen and support you.' Or 'I won't judge, and I'll never stop supporting you, no matter what challenges you face.' The likelihood that your child will open up when you least expect it, whether it's sitting side-by-side rather than face-to-face, in the car or engaged in some other activity together, is high.