HOPE. More Important Than You Think
What is hope? What does it do for us? How does it affect us?
My life came crashing down on me. I had been struggling for a lifetime with things I didn’t know were going on inside of me, with poor decisions I had made, and with the weight of a life time of un-dealt with pain and sadness. The disturbing part wasn’t that these things were happening, it was that I had this innate sense that it would never get any better. That I would be stuck at the bottom of this hole of despair, clawing for a glimpse of life forever. I lost hope, and I decided that I was going to take my own life. I wrote a letter and I had a plan. I know when people make this irreversible violent decision many get angry because of the selfishness of it. Because you don’t actually erase pain you simply transfer it to someone else who loves you. I understand. I was consumed and blinded by my hopelessness. Did people love me? Yes. Was there help available? Yes. Did I have an amazing future? Yes. I just couldn’t see it. Thank God! The right person on the right day was there and had the courage to ask me how I was doing and if I had any thoughts of harming myself. I was honest and said yes. Immediately I began a journey professionally, spiritually, and relationally back to hope and health. Before I go on, if you are in a place and need help like I received there is hope and help for you. Please ask for help. You are worthy, loved and valuable. I encourage you to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 800 273-8255. Or call me on my personal phone at 760 500-9964. If your not in this space today but have wrestled thoughts of self-harm I encourage you to download the app “My Three” and visit the website www.nami.org for free counselors and resources for health.
I had gotten preoccupied with life and wander off hopes path, I was wounded by others allowed that pain to drive out hope, I had made some poor decisions the pointed me in a different direction than hope.
Hope is imagining that there is something there to even believe and trust in. It is the belief in what could be. Hope redefines what is probable and opens the paths to the impossible. Hope opens the door to even let yourself consider that there may be a way out of your problem.
If it seems difficult to understand the role that hope plays in our life, it is because it is so fundamental to how we approach our lives. Erwin McManus, in his book Soul Cravings states: “…hope is essential for our souls to thrive.” and “If you don’t believe you have a future worth living for, your spirit loses all hope, and your soul was not designed to live without hope. In fact, when we lose all hope, we lose all desire to live.”
As a person extremely valued. Our lives are not destined to hopelessness.
Many times we forget that as we live our daily lives, and consign ourselves to the drudgery of “the way things are.” If you have been struggling with finances, do you have hope that you can work it out? Do you have hope that your body can be healed from the illness that has plagued you? Do you have hope that the situation in your family can not just be tolerable but great?
Sometimes we define our reality by what we believe is possible. When I came to realize what I was feeling and the months leading up to that moment, the hopelessness that gripped me, I said yes to the process of finding my hope again. It hasn’t been easy. I have had to own it and not look to other people to give me my hope. I had trust some professionals to be my guide through this season, some friends to hold on to and I had to find hope within. I put one foot in front of the other. I admitted my lack of faith and hope and asked and opened myself up to help. And today I have hope. I still have difficulties, unknowns, and I cant erase my past. But I have hope. And because I have hope I’m confident I have incredible tomorrows.
If you find yourself without hope in any area of your life, don’t hang out there. Have hope today.
I’m not OK. Your not OK. Its OK. I love you anyway.
